Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Three Years Revisited

I'm writing this post not as a summary of the last 3 years of my life, but as a gist of the references and conclusions I draw from my recent past. As I prepare the veins of truth inside me to bleed themselves dry, I get lost in a stream of conscience, which, until now had seemed to guide me through whatever I wrote, have deserted me. I cannot recollect reaching the peak of my intellect, but I'm sure that that has happened already, and that too not recently, as everything these days is seeming like a downfall; because once you've reached the top of the hill, there's no other place to go but down. Mentally, I've been in
safer places before, not necessarily better, but safer nonetheless.
Objectively, the end always justifies the means, though the latter always seems to be antithetic to the morality of things in the scheme dé grandé. Hence, would an achievable goal having a finite existence outside the mind justify any means for it's procurement? Is the materialistic life the life of today? I've spent the last three years trying to figure that out. These past years were, perhaps, the most selfish times in my life, wherein I was preoccupied with object-oriented ideas and their attainment for cunning little gains.

The first year (read as worst year of my life so far) kick started with me moving back to India after a year spent in the US. I've travelled a lot in my life, and have witnessed a good deal of relocations, but this one, by far, was the hardest and the most draining, emotionally. I had been living in the States without my parents for a year, and had grown very fond of the family and friends I was with then, and all this was a great deal to detach from.
Back in India, I had severe academic setbacks as the studies here had progressed far beyond what I had studied in America. Quite honestly, even with 4 AP subjects at Woodrow Wilson High School, I felt like I was a 9th grader in India. Hence, the remainder of my year was spent doing nothing but studying, trying to get a decent enough score in my 12th grade (senior year) and henceforth, get accepted to a good college. Towards the end of my first year back in India, I had gained academic strength and a lot of weight, at the cost of everything else.
In the second year, I gave the highly anticipated entrance for engineering colleges throughout India and got enrolled in a good one. Come this year, and I find myself stuck in my sophomore year (second year) in college, meeting people people I never thought I'd meet and doing things I never thought I'd do.

As I look back in introspection, my ego prevents me from having any regrets, though I admit there were things I wish I could undo. There were friends I hurt, promises I broke, trusts I shattered and relationships I unbonded with, and I really wish I could take it all back.
To those who are reading this, my humble apologies for all who ask of it; and here's to hoping that we'll all be the best people we can be.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Alive and kicking once more...

Yes, I'm back from the dead, pretty much.

3 years I haven't written on my blog, 3 years I've spent in technical oblivion, 3 years I've exiled myself from the wonderful world of my own blog. Well, all I've got three words:

NOT ANY MORE!

A lot has happened in the three years of my life I did not share with the friendly neighbourhood Internet. I'm not in America anymore, I'm not in high school anymore and I'm not a noob guitarist anymore! Surprisingly, I had totally forgotten about this blog until 2 days ago, and when I finally got down to read my old posts today, I was surprised at how much things and situations have changed since then; but then again, change is the only constant, right? I've made a whole gang of new friends at the cost of my old beloved group, I've come into college and I've lost a few pounds of weight.

More on my new life soon.