The tiny droplet, unknowing, uncaring,
Born of haste, who knows - even warring?
Not a single soul nor spirit endearing,
Near the end of wit and daring.
It gives, it gives, it wants not back,
All it asks 'What is it, I lack?',
Why did I fall? Happiness or woe?
Joy, I hope, else I couldn't bear.
The glass that broke is shattered now,
I can't but wonder: What? Why? How?
Though among the shards scattered above,
Did we forget to say mazel tov?
The bell tolls atop the castle,
Reminder of the past and bringer of hassle.
Yet, you see, I get down on one knee,
Hold my hand and set me free?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Speaking with Strangers
Hello blog,
It's me again. Remember me? I used to write in you all the time, and then I just stopped. And now, I return, and maybe only because I have no one else to speak to. I turn to you because this feels strange - strangely comforting. You are a stranger to me now. You don't judge me because you don't know me anymore. All that I have done, all that I have lost - you don't know any of that. You, stranger, you!
I saw you at the swimming pool today. I didn't know your name, and I don't think you knew mine either. We exchanged a couple of sentences worth of a conversation, but that was quite enough, right? I can meet you at the shopping center, at the gym, at the office, at the coffee shop, at the restaurant, at the temple and everywhere else. You always have a different face on you, but that doesn't bother me one bit because I know it's you. You're the stranger that I know because you're the one that I don't know.
I've known, or not known you for quite some time now. Over the years, I think we've developed quite the bond, and I can rely on you when I'm feeling especially selfish - I think of you when I need you, and then forget that I know you at all, which is all the more funny because I don't know you to begin with. I guess what I'm trying to say is that since we had quite the relationship going, I thought I knew well, or at least predict you. But no! You work in strange ways, oh stranger! I met you yesterday - met you someplace that I never thought I'll see you, and in ways I thought were never possible. I was surprised because I thought I always would see you wearing unfamiliar faces making unfamiliar noises - the essential part of your charm, really. All shock with no awe, I saw you behind the eyes of one of the most familiar set of eyes of my life. For the first time, the face was familiar and so was the noise you were making, but it all felt very different, very distant.
Oh estranged friend, I do understand. I do understand your trepidation with trusting other non-barking and non-mewing animals again, but its been pretty long, no? It's been a long time since bad things things happened to you and I know you've fought for a lot a things that should have been yours to begin with. I guess you're like a stone which has been rolling in the valley for so long that you've changed shape - making it, for the first time, a case of new things wrapped in a seemingly familiar pocket-sized pack.
I don't know what you're feeling. All I know is that I want you to be happy. If you truly are, then I guess I'm at peace with the world. But if you aren't, then I guess I'll have to fight to make the world right again.
Bless you, stranger. I'll be around...
It's me again. Remember me? I used to write in you all the time, and then I just stopped. And now, I return, and maybe only because I have no one else to speak to. I turn to you because this feels strange - strangely comforting. You are a stranger to me now. You don't judge me because you don't know me anymore. All that I have done, all that I have lost - you don't know any of that. You, stranger, you!
I saw you at the swimming pool today. I didn't know your name, and I don't think you knew mine either. We exchanged a couple of sentences worth of a conversation, but that was quite enough, right? I can meet you at the shopping center, at the gym, at the office, at the coffee shop, at the restaurant, at the temple and everywhere else. You always have a different face on you, but that doesn't bother me one bit because I know it's you. You're the stranger that I know because you're the one that I don't know.
I've known, or not known you for quite some time now. Over the years, I think we've developed quite the bond, and I can rely on you when I'm feeling especially selfish - I think of you when I need you, and then forget that I know you at all, which is all the more funny because I don't know you to begin with. I guess what I'm trying to say is that since we had quite the relationship going, I thought I knew well, or at least predict you. But no! You work in strange ways, oh stranger! I met you yesterday - met you someplace that I never thought I'll see you, and in ways I thought were never possible. I was surprised because I thought I always would see you wearing unfamiliar faces making unfamiliar noises - the essential part of your charm, really. All shock with no awe, I saw you behind the eyes of one of the most familiar set of eyes of my life. For the first time, the face was familiar and so was the noise you were making, but it all felt very different, very distant.
Oh estranged friend, I do understand. I do understand your trepidation with trusting other non-barking and non-mewing animals again, but its been pretty long, no? It's been a long time since bad things things happened to you and I know you've fought for a lot a things that should have been yours to begin with. I guess you're like a stone which has been rolling in the valley for so long that you've changed shape - making it, for the first time, a case of new things wrapped in a seemingly familiar pocket-sized pack.
I don't know what you're feeling. All I know is that I want you to be happy. If you truly are, then I guess I'm at peace with the world. But if you aren't, then I guess I'll have to fight to make the world right again.
Bless you, stranger. I'll be around...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
As we forgive those who sin against us...
Forget and forgive, or forget at least?
The last two books (Deception Point by Dan Brown and Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) that I read ignited in me an untimely spark, for in this dark time of my semester final exams, getting emotionally involved with anything but my textbooks can prove to be disastrous. Both books, though two worlds apart, one being a sci-fi suspense thriller and the other, an undying rant of a sex-worker, had the revengeful state of mind zeroed in on. I was under a constant impression that the writers were super pissed off about life in general, hence the characters were in torment almost the entire time. I'm not against the beauty of sadness, yet the obsessive compulsive state of depression annoys me no end, because if you're so pissed off with your own life, then why the hell write a book about it and relive the agony which remained faded out till then? So, is forgetfulness a virtue?
What about forgiveness? In today's times, is it really justified? I'd say revenge is more like it. I do have an understanding of how 'revenge' is too strong a word, so I'd like to put down my own interpretation of the it's meaning. Metaphorically, revenge is merely draining what was poured to you, leaving the state of deserving out of the question. Controversially, I think my idea of 'justice' is more than apt because, well, justice is blind, ain't it?
The last two books (Deception Point by Dan Brown and Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) that I read ignited in me an untimely spark, for in this dark time of my semester final exams, getting emotionally involved with anything but my textbooks can prove to be disastrous. Both books, though two worlds apart, one being a sci-fi suspense thriller and the other, an undying rant of a sex-worker, had the revengeful state of mind zeroed in on. I was under a constant impression that the writers were super pissed off about life in general, hence the characters were in torment almost the entire time. I'm not against the beauty of sadness, yet the obsessive compulsive state of depression annoys me no end, because if you're so pissed off with your own life, then why the hell write a book about it and relive the agony which remained faded out till then? So, is forgetfulness a virtue?
What about forgiveness? In today's times, is it really justified? I'd say revenge is more like it. I do have an understanding of how 'revenge' is too strong a word, so I'd like to put down my own interpretation of the it's meaning. Metaphorically, revenge is merely draining what was poured to you, leaving the state of deserving out of the question. Controversially, I think my idea of 'justice' is more than apt because, well, justice is blind, ain't it?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Three Years Revisited
I'm writing this post not as a summary of the last 3 years of my life, but as a gist of the references and conclusions I draw from my recent past. As I prepare the veins of truth inside me to bleed themselves dry, I get lost in a stream of conscience, which, until now had seemed to guide me through whatever I wrote, have deserted me. I cannot recollect reaching the peak of my intellect, but I'm sure that that has happened already, and that too not recently, as everything these days is seeming like a downfall; because once you've reached the top of the hill, there's no other place to go but down. Mentally, I've been in
safer places before, not necessarily better, but safer nonetheless.
Objectively, the end always justifies the means, though the latter always seems to be antithetic to the morality of things in the scheme dé grandé. Hence, would an achievable goal having a finite existence outside the mind justify any means for it's procurement? Is the materialistic life the life of today? I've spent the last three years trying to figure that out. These past years were, perhaps, the most selfish times in my life, wherein I was preoccupied with object-oriented ideas and their attainment for cunning little gains.
The first year (read as worst year of my life so far) kick started with me moving back to India after a year spent in the US. I've travelled a lot in my life, and have witnessed a good deal of relocations, but this one, by far, was the hardest and the most draining, emotionally. I had been living in the States without my parents for a year, and had grown very fond of the family and friends I was with then, and all this was a great deal to detach from.
Back in India, I had severe academic setbacks as the studies here had progressed far beyond what I had studied in America. Quite honestly, even with 4 AP subjects at Woodrow Wilson High School, I felt like I was a 9th grader in India. Hence, the remainder of my year was spent doing nothing but studying, trying to get a decent enough score in my 12th grade (senior year) and henceforth, get accepted to a good college. Towards the end of my first year back in India, I had gained academic strength and a lot of weight, at the cost of everything else.
In the second year, I gave the highly anticipated entrance for engineering colleges throughout India and got enrolled in a good one. Come this year, and I find myself stuck in my sophomore year (second year) in college, meeting people people I never thought I'd meet and doing things I never thought I'd do.
As I look back in introspection, my ego prevents me from having any regrets, though I admit there were things I wish I could undo. There were friends I hurt, promises I broke, trusts I shattered and relationships I unbonded with, and I really wish I could take it all back.
To those who are reading this, my humble apologies for all who ask of it; and here's to hoping that we'll all be the best people we can be.
safer places before, not necessarily better, but safer nonetheless.
Objectively, the end always justifies the means, though the latter always seems to be antithetic to the morality of things in the scheme dé grandé. Hence, would an achievable goal having a finite existence outside the mind justify any means for it's procurement? Is the materialistic life the life of today? I've spent the last three years trying to figure that out. These past years were, perhaps, the most selfish times in my life, wherein I was preoccupied with object-oriented ideas and their attainment for cunning little gains.
The first year (read as worst year of my life so far) kick started with me moving back to India after a year spent in the US. I've travelled a lot in my life, and have witnessed a good deal of relocations, but this one, by far, was the hardest and the most draining, emotionally. I had been living in the States without my parents for a year, and had grown very fond of the family and friends I was with then, and all this was a great deal to detach from.
Back in India, I had severe academic setbacks as the studies here had progressed far beyond what I had studied in America. Quite honestly, even with 4 AP subjects at Woodrow Wilson High School, I felt like I was a 9th grader in India. Hence, the remainder of my year was spent doing nothing but studying, trying to get a decent enough score in my 12th grade (senior year) and henceforth, get accepted to a good college. Towards the end of my first year back in India, I had gained academic strength and a lot of weight, at the cost of everything else.
In the second year, I gave the highly anticipated entrance for engineering colleges throughout India and got enrolled in a good one. Come this year, and I find myself stuck in my sophomore year (second year) in college, meeting people people I never thought I'd meet and doing things I never thought I'd do.
As I look back in introspection, my ego prevents me from having any regrets, though I admit there were things I wish I could undo. There were friends I hurt, promises I broke, trusts I shattered and relationships I unbonded with, and I really wish I could take it all back.
To those who are reading this, my humble apologies for all who ask of it; and here's to hoping that we'll all be the best people we can be.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Alive and kicking once more...
Yes, I'm back from the dead, pretty much.
3 years I haven't written on my blog, 3 years I've spent in technical oblivion, 3 years I've exiled myself from the wonderful world of my own blog. Well, all I've got three words:
NOT ANY MORE!
A lot has happened in the three years of my life I did not share with the friendly neighbourhood Internet. I'm not in America anymore, I'm not in high school anymore and I'm not a noob guitarist anymore! Surprisingly, I had totally forgotten about this blog until 2 days ago, and when I finally got down to read my old posts today, I was surprised at how much things and situations have changed since then; but then again, change is the only constant, right? I've made a whole gang of new friends at the cost of my old beloved group, I've come into college and I've lost a few pounds of weight.
More on my new life soon.
3 years I haven't written on my blog, 3 years I've spent in technical oblivion, 3 years I've exiled myself from the wonderful world of my own blog. Well, all I've got three words:
NOT ANY MORE!
A lot has happened in the three years of my life I did not share with the friendly neighbourhood Internet. I'm not in America anymore, I'm not in high school anymore and I'm not a noob guitarist anymore! Surprisingly, I had totally forgotten about this blog until 2 days ago, and when I finally got down to read my old posts today, I was surprised at how much things and situations have changed since then; but then again, change is the only constant, right? I've made a whole gang of new friends at the cost of my old beloved group, I've come into college and I've lost a few pounds of weight.
More on my new life soon.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
A Song That Touched Me....
A couple of days ago, I heard this song by Cat Stevens called Wild World, and it touched me so much that I decided to put it up here.....
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
and I'll always remember you like a child, girl
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
A Snippet From Mook's Blog.....
Here's an extract from Mook's blog, a very good friend of mine....
" December 05
thx manu
thx a lot for being there for me...
well this is what happened today:
Eric and I broke up
i sat still for the whole 15 mins going over what actually just happened after i hung up the phone with eric. At first, I thought I felt i was going to be okay so i called manu to tell him (manu and i talked abt the problem last night anyway so..). when i actually told him that it's over been me and eric, i started to cry. tears just kept on coming out... i was actually kind of surprised by that cuz i thought i'd b alright.
....
so we talked for a long while and i felt better after that (he finally made me laugh in the end).
after that, i went online and saw eric's blog abt the end of our relationship and that made me cry again...
i'll get over it...especially when i kno that i've got a great friend like manu who can always make me smile and is always there for me.
thanks for everything "
The original blog can be found here
" December 05
thx manu
thx a lot for being there for me...
well this is what happened today:
Eric and I broke up
i sat still for the whole 15 mins going over what actually just happened after i hung up the phone with eric. At first, I thought I felt i was going to be okay so i called manu to tell him (manu and i talked abt the problem last night anyway so..). when i actually told him that it's over been me and eric, i started to cry. tears just kept on coming out... i was actually kind of surprised by that cuz i thought i'd b alright.
....
so we talked for a long while and i felt better after that (he finally made me laugh in the end).
after that, i went online and saw eric's blog abt the end of our relationship and that made me cry again...
i'll get over it...especially when i kno that i've got a great friend like manu who can always make me smile and is always there for me.
thanks for everything "
The original blog can be found here
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Physics and Me...
Here's a big update of what happened this weekend. There was this huge 29 question long monster Physics AP Homework due on Friday midnight, and I had no freekin' idea of what I had to do. I called up my friend, Nestor to see how he was doing, and he was as bad as I was; hence he decided to come over because we thought that working together might help. We kept on trying repeatedly till about 8 pm, and then we just gave up. We both were stuck at about 35%, and there was no way we could have made it to a 70. Thereafter, we just said "SCREW IT, THIS SHIT IS IMPOSSIBLE!" and went to a party. When we came back (which was around 12:30 am), we noticed that the homework was now due on Sunday midnight, instead of Friday, which gave us 2 full days to work on it. The next day, which was Saturday, we went to a giant Physics Workshop at the Townview TAG (Talented and Gifted) School, but the real adventure was getting there! Me and Nestor, despite our best attempts, could not figure out where in the world this place was. Took us like 2 hours to get there, whereas the original journey was supposed to take only about 25-30 minutes. We also went to this other place, where the people thought that we were the volunteers that were there to help them, so they gave us free lunch! Anyways, later that evening, our forces were joined by David Gilchrist, another genius from my Physics AP class. So, the 3 man army of myself, David and Nestor started to work with a determined head, a head determined towards cracking the "Homework". 12 can of sodas, 2 BIG bags of Popcorn and 40+ hours later, we all ended up with all our answers correct!!! Hoo-ray!
End of the day, I was happy, David was jolly, Nestor was dancing, and Mr. Cameron was staring open-mouthed!
End of the day, I was happy, David was jolly, Nestor was dancing, and Mr. Cameron was staring open-mouthed!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
More Albert Einstein....
- As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
- Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
- Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.
- Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
- If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
- Imagination is more important than knowledge...
- It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Life in My School, Woodrow Wilson High
Imagine life in Hell. Do you think that life in Woodrow is like that? Well, no! Imagine life in Heaven. Do you think that life in Woodrow is like that? Again, no! Imagine life somewhere in between. Do you think life in Woodrow is like that? Yeah, it is! My schedule is kinda like this. First period is AP Chemistry. Then, US History. 3rd is Band. Next, fourth period is AP Calculus. Fifth is dreaded AP Physics. Next, Advanced Computers. Finally, 7th is AP English. Now, do you expect school to be fun with 5 AP classes? Well, I think it is.......
I think that school should not be fun anyway. One goes to school to learn and to be someone in life, not to have fun! I mean, would I want to have fun in school at the stake of my career, also when I have the rest of the day and the weekends to have loads of fun. Don't get me wrong here, I am not one of those freaks who believes in all work and no play. I am just a sensible human being who dislikes all play and no work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
